So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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