I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
