I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize