even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
