I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
