I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize