Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
