I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
