My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"