You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.