i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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