He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
