just tell him i said nine months
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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