Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
