I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
