I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
