I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you win again, gameday.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
