Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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