it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
if i died would you start the facebook group?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
