I seem to have left my pride at pride
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
