you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
