You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
