Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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