matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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