i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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