Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
