I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
