just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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