Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
