i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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