You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
