I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
