so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize