she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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