Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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