So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
