My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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