I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
