I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
