Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
