never play flip cup with pint glasses
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
