what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
