I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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