She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
