Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
