1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
only if we run a train.
done.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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