I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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