I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
