I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
