After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
40s are totally the cure
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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