so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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