Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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