the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Panties = found
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
