I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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