maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
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