They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
