Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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