I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You're completely useless in the revolution.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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