You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
