What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
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How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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