1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
bring money and cleavage
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
