VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
