Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
