For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
