I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
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That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
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And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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